Because I can

And because thank God for Kyle.

Meet the rock-star boyfriend.

The link below is the song he wrote a few months ago, finished in my basement, lyrics etched in green crayon.

I came down from putting my kids to bed and then just stood in my kitchen, just listening to the man with his guitar writing a song in my basement. Writing a song about me, about us, in my basement.

I remember thinking that night, as I stood there, coffee he made for me clutched in my hand: I can’t believe this is my life.

But it is.

And every day I’m reminded: It’s really, really good.

The song: Kyle Harvey, “Ready Now” (or whatever he decides to name it!)


37 thoughts on “Because I can

  1. I love this post for many reasons.
    I was a single mother for years and it was my dream to be saved by someone who was an amazing person. Who loved me and my children.
    I know kyle is an amazing guy and all of you are so lucky to have found each other.

    No longer a single mother after six years I am grateful like you. I look at my version of the rock star in my life and simply feel lucky.


    • Tiffany, your comment gave me goosebumps. I still have them. I hope to meet you someday soon.
      The notion that we all might be lucky enough to have our own rock stars (whether they play a guitar or make dinner or give the best back rubs or know just when you need them to be right there or whatever) is … beautiful. And I wish that for everyone.

      Thanks so much for reading and for commenting.


  2. I stumbled upon your website on accident the other night. I too recently lost my job and am a single mom to a boy. I have a great man in my life supporting me and my son, he adores us and treats my son as if he is his own.

    With the little I have read from you I can so place myself in your shoes and can say I have already cried during some of what I have read. Please keep posting!


    • Michelle, more goosebumps! Making someone cry is the best compliment a writer can get. Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting.

      We are not alone.

      We will be OK. All of us. We are mighty.

      Please check back. I’ll keep posting!


  3. I’m currently 8 1/2 months pregnant and in the process of losing my “rock star” of 16 years (since I was 15) to another person. It’s nice to see there is another “rock star” out there for me somewhere…it just doesn’t seem possible there’s a light at the end of the tunnel right now.


    • Oh, Emily, HANG IN THERE.

      Believe me, I know what it feels like to be you. I know how absolutely terrifying it feels to be pregnant and alone. I know how dark that tunnel can look.

      I know.

      You are never alone. People love you. You will get through this. It will be BETTER. You just have to believe that’s true and then you have to be stronger than nails, tougher than you even ever thought you could be.

      You can do it.


      • Thank you all for such kind words of support. It brought tears to my eyes that strangers can care so much for others.

        I’m not done fighting for my rock star by any means, but I’m definitely turning my attention to my daughter who should be here in about a month. I know she will change everything for me (and hopefully us).


    • Emily your rock star is out there, don’t be fooled by cover bands. I have almost literally been in the exact same spot you are finding yourself in currently. The last thing that I wanted to hear was “It will get better” or any other cliche over used statement of the same sentiment. All I can say is that those kind of things are over used because they are so TRUE.

      I hate that anyone has pain and suffering in their lives, but those experiences give us the opportunity to prove to ourselves the kind of person that WE are when faced with what life throws at us.


    • Emily…I was there single mom and preggers with a 4yr old. Its hard…nobody can candy coat that for you as I’m sure you already know. Mine left me for another woman too. It sucked! However, I am in a MUCH better place now and you will be too. You will make it. We make it because we have to. We are alot stronger than we think at times and I don’t think god doesn’t give us anything he doesn’t think we can’t handle. It’s something that will help you become an powerful ind. woman.

      Know that your not alone, you have friends and family. Lean on them. Let them help you and dont feel like a failure for asking for help. Its strength that allows people to ask for and accept help in times of need. I leaned on someone who became my best friend and he’s now my husband and a great role model for my kids. You will get here too. Have faith. There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.

      I know you will do everything possible for your little one and once you have her or him in your arms you will do whatever it takes to make it. Its what gives us single moms strength. If it weren’t for my kids I don’t know if I would have made it. Whenever you start feeling really down and upset hold your little one, give them some hugs and kisses and as they get older play with them. Thats what life is about now. Its about the little life growing inside you.


    • Emily,

      You will get through this. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you will. You have a baby on the way that is going to need every ounce of your being.

      I raised my son for almost 12 years basically on my own. Even when I did marry a guy, I was still a single mom doing it all on my own.

      I didn’t meet my “rock star” till two years ago and it has been amazing. But for 12 years I will be honest it was a struggle. But I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. But you can and will get through it.

      And when your true “rock star” shows up you will be very blessed for the road that you went down. I know, I’ve spent the last month almost a mess because I was almost still to independent for my rock star and was refusing to ask him for help. I’m very grateful for him in my life but had I not gone what I went though I’m not sure I would be so grateful! Does that make sense?! LOL


  4. As you may or may not know my knight in shining armor came into my life when my son was 6 mos old, and my daughter was 4. They are now 4 yrs and 8 yrs old. Last year we were married with a nontraditional family wedding where we included the kids in our ceremony, even our cake had a touch of them. Today we are expecting our first together. Life does get better…and finding someone special sure does help. I know how happy you must be right now to have found that special someone. I know too that guys who take on single moms with kids are GREAT guys! Thats alot of responsibility. Congrats on finding your Rock Star!


    • Yes, Chrissy, I know your story. Remember that time I interviewed you? I had just had my daughter, and my marriage was all but over. I remember you said, “You just had a baby? You don’t look like it!” and I loved you even more for that. But more importantly, you also told me your story – the scary, sad, hard times AND that it gets better.

      You were inspirational to me. And I never told you.

      Now, I am.

      Thanks for that.


  5. That song is incredibly beautiful and so relevant for so many people today. I loved the sentence “…coffee he made for me clutched in my hand….” I felt like I was standing there in that very moment clutching coffee in my hand. So good!


  6. Aww..flattered I touched you. This is why I wear my heart on my I can help others see things can and do get better with time. I didn’t know anyone going through this..all of my friends were hppily married. They did support me by being there for me and thats all I could have asked for. Had I known someone who had gone through it I think in the beginning I would have probably dealt with it better.


  7. As you know…Kyle wears his heart on his sleeve. You two have a whole new chapter ahead of you. I dont know which one of you is more lucky to have found eachother, but it was so meant to be. Smiles all around. Thanks for sharing.


    • I do Kristen. My mom has been to my birthing classes and she will be in the delivery room as well. My estranged husband has also been part of the pregnancy in regard to appointments and classes and will be in the delivery room…(maternity leave is tbd). We just found our daycare together yesterday as well. He is still a part of our daughter’s life…just not mine anymore.


  8. Hi Veronica!
    I just wanted to say hi, and wow-that whole thing sucked! What the heck are they thinking? I never really loved the whole momaha thing anyway (sorry!) I found it all a bit too competitive and all that nonesense even though it’s supposed to be a place for moms to connect. Anyway, just wanted to say I officially ditched momaha and am following your journey. Team Veronica! 🙂 Hang in there, you’ll do great things.


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