I went to a party last night.
A really amazing gathering of really awesome people. At a beautiful house on a lake.
I walked in and a friend hugged me and said, “I’m so glad you came.”
As if to say, “I’m glad you came in spite of everything going on, in spite of the fact you have no income and we’d all totally get it if you wanted to shut yourself into your room and hide under the covers for a while. We’d all totally understand.”
And I know she meant it. I know everyone would.
But that doesn’t seem like a very productive use of my time, does it?
So I went to the party and I met lots of new people. I ate really amazing food and drank a couple glasses of free wine and heard absolutely fantastic live music. Guys with guitars and voices like butter. Really, I can’t think of a better night out.
It was, though, the first time I’ve been asked, “So what do you do?” and I didn’t have an answer.
“I’m the editor of a website for ….” Nope. No, I’m not. Not that anymore.
I answered honestly. I told them I’m a writer and an editor. I told them about this blog. I told them I can do social media and a little marketing and event planning.
I told them I’m a mom.
I told them I’m that guy over there’s girlfriend.
I told them I have no clue what comes next.
It felt weird. For the first time in my life, I haven’t had a career that helps define me. I haven’t had a quick, confident answer to this is what I do and I’m proud of it.
Isn’t it funny how we like to label things? How classifying people into a career or profession makes us somehow feel better, makes us more comfortable with the order of things, with the balance of power, with the way society functions?
It’s as if the what-do-you-do question helps us understand people better. But really, I’m not sure it does.
I was the editor of a niche website for moms, yes. But I was also a lot more than that. Just like I’m a lot more than a mother. I get to be all sorts of things! Huh. Pretty cool how that works.
I met two women last night who don’t like their jobs. One was an English literature major working as an operations manager for some company. Not related to her major at all and also not really what she wants to be doing. But change is hard, we agreed.
Yes, it is.
But it’s also what keeps this world going round. This crazy, beautiful life flowing like a river.
I’ve decided, at least for the moment, to just trust in the nature of things, to put faith in … well, faith.
Ha. And see where that takes us.