Surrender

I’m about to take my daughter to her first counseling session, my husband and I continue to prove that, yes, it is hard to be married, the baby woke up at 4:45 this morning and so that’s when I got up, too, and just now at yoga I did not want to get up off my mat.

I wanted to stay there in the dark quiet space, tucked up into myself in surrender to the universe. I wanted to rest.

Yet.

We have to get up off our mats, play the game in survival mode until this chapter transitions to the next. That will happen, though we don’t know when and we can’t script it or orchestrate it or make people do what we want them to when we want them to, not even our own children, the human beings that came out of our bodies. We have control really over very little.

Yet.

We are so strong we don’t even know how much until we have to.

For that, I am grateful. For that, universe, thank you.

Still. Some days? I am tired.

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